Which personalities do you most identify with?

A: Manipulative Sociopath and CEO, Audrey Rock.
I'd love to be the Office Bimbo, but I don't think I have the sheer stupidity and narcissism it requires, so I guess I'll have to go with The Martyr. I'd really like to suffer, and I'd really love for my co-workers to watch me suffer. On top of the innate desire, there's also genetics at play here--I have a natural ability for suffering. I got it from my mom, who's main goal in life is to be in constant anguish. Together, we've perfected it to an art form. There's a certain satisfaction to it. Plus it justifies the amount of controlled substances I'm prescribed in order to cope with all the burdens heaped upon my narrow shoulders."

A: Graphic Pimp & Art Director Shawn Stoyle.
"Slacker — because I hate to come to work early in the morning the way my Slave Driver bosses want. But screw them, I can coast on my talent."

A: Fall Guy and Creative Director, Steve Hawkins.
"I can relate to most of these dysfunctional personalities — that's what made them so fun to develop. Because of my passive-aggressive nature, I identify most with both the Erupter and the Brown Noser. But I secretly long to be the Office Bimbo."

Can I submit a personality of my own?
You can, but our lawyers delete them before we get a chance to read them. Please don't send us suggestions. We would, however, love to know which existing personality you most identify with.

About Us

The Corporate Kingdom® is about having fun at work. You can inject some sunlight into your work day by sharing our cards with your downtrodden colleagues. Post our calendar outside your cubicle for the whole office to enjoy. And if you have a boss who's a Control Freak or Slave Driver, then just hold onto a card or mug for your own private catharsis.

Someone in my office left me a Corporate Kingdom® card anonymously. What should I do?
At least you're interesting enough to have an enemy or friend with a sense of humor. You can always get even by sending a card to all the people you suspect sent one to you. The best way to get even though is to laugh, post the card on your door or computer monitor and have some fun with it.

Where did you get the idea for the Corporate Kingdom® Cards?
We started out with a plan to make geography cards for kids. From there it deteriorated into the Corporate Kingdom® Cards.

Are your characters based on any real people?
They were all inspired by real people.

Who did your copywriting and illustrations?
All creative work is the product of the fertile and twisted minds at Cohezion Communications.

 

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